Book written by Lara Avery, published 2016.
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Sammie McCoy has goals. Goal #1: Get her long-time crush Stuart Shah to notice her and not by saying something dumb. Goal #2: win Nationals with her debate partner and only friend, Maddie. Goal #3: finish high school as valedictorian and deliver a killer speech during graduation. Goal #4: attend college at NYU in the fall. Goal #5: write everything down so that Future Sammie, who’s undoubtedly moved on to amazing things and has not succumbed to Niemann-Pick Type C (or NPC for short) but probably won’t remember anything from the time she was sick, will know exactly how far she’s come and how much she’s accomplished.
This novel falls under the same category as The Fault in Our Stars, Everything Everything, Five Feet Apart, and Midnight Sun (by Trish Cook, not Stephanie Meyer—sorry, Twilight fans). So, if that’s your jam, I recommend this gem which has seemingly flown in the shadows of everything else in its genre. That being said, I most likely won’t read this one a second time. It’s beautifully written and it has some amazing quotes and perspectives on what’s really important in life, but it’s a sad book. And I don’t usually read to feel sad.
This novel does stand out to me more than any of those other books though, mostly because it’s written as a journal. It paints a vibrant picture of Sammie’s life because you can read her moods in the way her words are presented on the page and not just the words she uses. It was also a unique way to present the inner workings of the people Sammie allows to write in her memory book, people watching her journey from the outside. I was also able to tear through this book even though it was sad. The organization and the writing style made it easy to flow from one life event to the next, keeping up with Sammie’s changing moods and memories even on her bad days. It really is a sweet story, and even if you’re like me and don’t read to feel sad, I would still recommend that you read it at least once. It’s certainly deserving of that much.
This book contains profanity (mostly f-bombs), one solid punch to the face, weed, underage drinking, and on-screen sex (though the details are pretty vague).
The rest of this review consists of spoilers, so for all of you readers that care about that sort of thing, this is your warning to get out of dodge (but feel free to join us after you’ve read the book!).
"You don't have to be a robot, Future Sam. What you're doing doesn't have to be going toward something. Sometimes you can stop, or at least pause. Sometimes you can just be."
It was actually really easy to monitor Sammie’s character development throughout the story. I had worried about that at the beginning because Sammie was so determined not to change. I had worried that mentally she just wouldn’t be able to adapt and accept how NPC would change her life and that she would push forward until the bitter end. But there were lots of little emotional moments that changed Sammie’s perspective of her life little by little. I think the moment that stood out to me was when Mrs. Townsend told Sammie that she was moving to New York, and Sammie’s internal response was, “Everyone I like goes to New York. I decided to be okay with that.” She’d been desperate nearly every moment up until then to go to school in the fall, but in that instant, she wasn’t jealous or bitter that everyone got to go and she had to stay. I don’t know that “okay” necessarily means that she was happy for everyone else, but that was still a big change. That’s when I started to really like Sammie as a character.
I gotta say, I was definitely on Team Cooper the whole time. The last few pages of the book were some of the most potent for me. Coop and Sammie definitely deserved more time together, but they didn’t dwell on that too much. They focused on remembering the moments they did have together, and some of those last ones read like a happily ever after. I thought Stuart was decent enough, but he didn’t know Sammie well enough to be the rock she needed. He didn’t seem to register just how determined she could be when she wanted something and ended up discouraging her from living even though she was healthy enough. Coop was never afraid to take Sammie on adventures, and he empowered Sammie to make her own decisions even if he didn’t always like them. Stuart and Coop were both imperfect in their own ways, but Coop seemed like he was trying to make himself better (based on the small observations that Sammie made) whereas Stuart seemed to wallow in his flaws a little bit. Not that I blame him—I’ve totally been there, dude—but, again, just not the person Sammie needed. So, I was happy when Sammie chose Coop instead.
So, I don’t like to read sad books, but talking about sad books doesn’t make me sad, haha. If you guys have some thoughts you want to share, I would love to hear them! Leave a comment down below!
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