Book written by Cherie Bennett, published 1998.
Darcy’s older brother David is the best. His kindness, selflessness, encouragement, and humor are the perfect aid for Darcy’s timidity and uncertainty. But their tight friendship is rocked when David gets a girlfriend, and, suddenly, Darcy doesn’t feel like her brother’s best friend anymore. Things get infinitely worse on Darcy’s birthday when she gets into a massive fight with David and he’s tragically killed as he chases her across the street. Overcome by grief and guilt, Darcy sees only one avenue of hope: David’s heart was donated for transplant. One piece of David is still alive, and Darcy believes that if she can find it, somehow, it will be like her brother never left.
I was introduced to this book back in the fourth grade. This is the first time I’ve read the book since then, but it’s always been a story that’s stuck with me. I would have read it sooner if I’d had an easier time finding a copy. So, warning number one: It may not be easy to find a copy to read in the first place, but I promise you, it’s so worth it.
Warning number two: This book will make you cry. Bennett has a talent for writing raw emotion, and not just in the main character. We clearly see Darcy’s emotions because she’s the story's narrator—she tells the readers what she’s thinking/experiencing, and we know how those emotionally/physically affect her. But Darcy is also observant of the habits and behaviors of those around her, and while she may not always understand the how or the why, the emotions are still tangibly present.
The book itself is pretty short; I got through it in around five hours. It was a quick read, but it left me thinking about it for hours afterward. It’s well-paced and sharply written, meaning it’s excellent for a younger audience.
The book is also really clean. There’s no language or intimacy, and the only violence is the accident, but there are no gory details.
This is your official spoiler warning! If you want to find out for yourself how Darcy finds David’s heart, read the book and come back. We’ll be here!
"Faith is when your heart tells something is true even if you can't prove it. That's what David believed."
To be honest, even though I’ve remembered this story for most of my life, there weren’t a lot of details that were engrained in my brain. I remembered how David died and that he and Darcy had argued just before it happened. I remembered that Sam always said “K.O.” instead of “O.K.” I remembered how David’s heart had gone to a black kid about Darcy’s age. I remembered the first time Darcy saw Winston, standing on the porch talking to his mother as he was headed out to meet friends with a football under his arm. But what I remembered the most was that Winston let Darcy listen to her brother’s heart as it beat in his chest. That was a touching moment, and back then, I understood that it was touching even if maybe I didn’t understand why. When I read that moment for the first time in well over a decade, I bawled like a baby for a good fifteen minutes afterward. Because this time, I remembered Darcy’s turmoil, her all-consuming guilt that she had been responsible for David’s death. I’m closer to an adult now and have a greater understanding and appreciation for the concept of closure, so reading about Darcy finally reconnecting with David in that way made me feel the relief that she did, and it was touching for me in a whole new way. It's an incredibly potent story, and I’m glad I finally had the chance to read it again.
One of my fresh takeaways from the book was actually about the relationship between Darcy and her father. Darcy's dad is a fairly bitter guy and is known to hold grudges when things go wrong. For most of the book, Darcy believed that her dad was punishing her for the grudge he held against his mother, with whom Darcy looks identical. Darcy didn't believe her father loved her before David's death, and she was convinced that he would hate her just for herself if he ever found out the truth about what happened. I couldn't remember any resolution between them from my first experience with the book, so I spent the majority of this read-through praying that Darcy would get a chance to talk to her dad. I had been hoping for a long, melodramatic discussion that started in anger and gradually melted into understanding and compassion, but Bennett's idea was much better. There was no discussion, just a few sentences of dialogue, but there were lots of tears and a lot of compassion. I liked that Darcy didn't wait to find out how her dad felt about her and that she decided to extend a hand of love first. I thought it was the perfect way to demonstrate just how much Darcy had grown in just a few short days, and it was much more satisfying to watch her father reach out with some tenderness of his own.
This book technically falls into the Christmas genre, so I’m thinking I’ve got a new annual tradition. What books do you guys like to read over the holidays?
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